Day One

Given the nature of this blog, it seems necessary to set out a few personal guidelines which, documented herein, will function as a contract with myself, never to be terminated or expunged.

1. I make this commitment to neither smoke a cigarette nor use any tobacco products (chew, dip, electronic cigarettes, etc.) until the end of my life. I arrive to this commitment after many years of contemplation upon the act of smoking and the consequences inherent with this act. As one with a remarkable about of both pride and self-consciousness, I embarrassingly (but finally) admit that every cigarette I have smoked in my life has been against my better judgment. In fact, my habit has helped to support one of the worst economies and corporations - one that benefits on the direct destruction of my body and life - yet another political self-contradiction. Fuck that. I, here, on this public forum, admit my absolute idiocity and stupidity, and from this day forward will work to save face and regain my dignity by never touching a Camel, Marlboro, Parliament, Winston, occasional Newport (gross!), and any other nicotine/tobacco product. Breach of this contract incurs punishment below.

2. I will post on this blog everyday until it seems unnecessary to do so further (regarding my cigarette smoking, of course). I do not place limits on the quantity of times I will post per day, but I assume it will mostly occur once daily. The form/style/content of the blog will differ depending on my own personal desires or current needs regarding my mental state in this quitting process.

3. Everything written on this blog will adhere to the strictest definition of truth, that being all of which is real. I commit to never writing a word of falsity herein. Although article one presupposes an eternal lack of tobacco/nicotine in my life, were the author to breach the above contract and face the consequences outlined below, he will clearly document that here for all to see, laugh, point, and scoff at. The goal of this project is to obtain complete transparency which, frankly, I have been unable to achieve thus far in my cigarette quitting endeavors, thus allowing me to fail (sorry, Love). This time, I will not accept that, and neither will you.

4. Were I to breach this contract and use a tobacco/nicotine product, the penalties will be as follows. For our unfortunately violent friends, you are hereby granted the ability to punch me with full force on either left or right bicep. This punch must be closed fisted without the use of any supplemental materials such as brass-knuckles, rolls of coins (any denomination), boxing gloves with stones in them, etc. For our pacifist friends, I will provide five dollars in American currency to all who read and comment to the blog the day on which I fail. For those not as committed to reading this blog as I am to quitting smoking, I will consider writing you a poem or short story of your chosen theme and content. And for all those who find nothing here for them, punishments may be negotiable.

I ask all you, friends and foes, to assist me in this unfortunately difficult struggle to quit smoking.