Working an open-to-close double at Alonso's prevents one from timely posting on his blog, but rest assured: the cigs are no match for my self-control. I almost cannot believe it in the same way that I couldn't believe I could happily live my life as a non-smoker - which is a pretty terrible reality to have to face. As I continue to peel back the layers of lies, excuses, and intentional-ignorance, I find myself hating cigarettes even more and more. Yes, I still want to smoke them (badly at times), but for a different reason. In a way, I almost want to see what they would do for me now as one who hasn't smoked for almost a week, but that is just silly and unproductive. I am still myself without cigs - albeit, a tad bit jumpy and occasionally cranky - and I love this new self.
And, if I needed another reason to quit, the Eagles are 1-0 with me as a non-smoker! Go Eagles! Check out this very informative link (especially you, Coleman)!
I'm super impressed. Oddly so. But I have this unease that sometime soon the shit's going to hit the fan. Am I just an eternal hater? Why am I of such "little faithe"?
ReplyDeleteThe real question, of course, is what kind of shit do you think of?
ReplyDeleteNot quite sure. Maybe it's just the doom inherent in my name that's creating this unease. I'm afraid I'm going to fuck something up along the way and take you with me.
ReplyDeleteThe wonderful thing about this task, my love, is that I am no longer willing to cast blame outward for my own failings. Before, I could say you were making me crazy or I had too much reading or worked sucked that day, but all of were merely excuses to permit my continuing smoking. That is, however, no more!
ReplyDeleteAnd, by the way, there is NOTHING you can fuck up. You are my little Midas...
That article was a little dated Joseph, dont you think.
ReplyDeleteStill valid nonetheless, my friend.
ReplyDelete