Day One-Hundred Thirty-Four

Man. I don't even remember what it is to write a blog anymore. I have no idea what happened.

What was this thing all about anyway? I'm confused...

Was there a time when I smoked cigarettes?

I keep on having these sleeps where I wake up and look for something and want to do something, but can't remember at all what exactly it is, until I do. I'm looking for my cigarettes.

And I must be out then, so I'll stop by the store on my way to work and grab a pack; but how much were they again? $6.03? Eh, just break a 10 this time and save the change for later. Maybe ask for smaller coins...

Where is this Real, anymore? What makes me a smoker?

Am I still a smoker? Is one's extent of smokerness reliant upon the quantity of smokes inhaled; total amount of smokes smoked in one's life? So, once you pass the one-thousand cigarette threshold, you're in the club? Alright, then I smoked for nine years; first couple years were maybe three per week. And then three years at least one pack per day, and then a few more at about four packs per week - can't forget the two packs of Camel Filters devoured per day freshmen year of college (ugh). That brings us to a rough estimate of 33,672 - thirty-three thousand, six-hundred and seventy-two. Is it possible I did the math wrong here? I did use a calculator...

Now I have myself thinking about the possible things I have done thirty-three thousand times in my lifetime: breathe, maybe eat things (definitely chew stuff), hopefully kissed my beautiful wife. Hm. This is tricky. But I did make the smokers team.

And I still keep thinking like a smoker. And my mind keeps on tricking me into thinking I am a smoker. I even contemplated borrowing one of Ryan's helpless, unassuming cigarettes in the server station on Sunday evening for no apparent reason. I wasn't particularly interested in smoking one. They just looked really nice in their perfect, self-contained box; I wanted to see what I already knew was inside. Silly me.

And still, the mystery remains: Am I still a smoker? What is a smoker?

Day One-Hundred Twenty-Four

Hello all. Here is what I have been up to recently. One more week, and I'll be back! No cigs...

http://jclabella2010.edu.glogster.com/low-incidence-syndromes/