Day Thirty-Nine

I have been reflecting on the directions and focus of my mind the past few weeks, and I can say that there is actually something I truly miss now that I am no longer smoking: outside. I often feel this way at various points throughout the winter as I neither have the desire nor the suitable evolutionary adaptation (or would that be a lack thereof?) to be able to stand the cold. Or a better way to put it would be that the incentive to stand outside, read my book, talk on the phone, work on my house, or contemplate some aspect of my life or simply dinner just isn't enough without the promise of a cigarette in my mouth. It is true.

Perhaps, I am making too much of the inevitable consequence of living in a non-Tropical climate zone. But I will say that I enjoyed winter much more last year as a smoker. I had that excuse to put on my jacket and my knit hat and fingerless knit gloves and connect with the world outside of me for a minute. It was a leveling feeling and always made my house seem warmer than it actually was in comparison, which is awesome when you keep the thermostat at 65 degrees to save a bit more energy; the wife and I don't want to forget where we are in the passage of the seasons (not to mention all the canoodling!).

All this being said, I do not want all you naysayers thinking, 'Oh. Here it comes. The beginning of the end. I have been waiting for it. That weak fool'. O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt? My path does not end on the water's edge; on the brink of hypothermia and claustrophobia. Praise to those who waver not in their faith. For all you Thomas's, I will show you so that you will believe. I got this shit. I just need to work more on getting my ass up and out of the door to enjoy all the beauty and life around me with a shiver or two.